


Running Out of Time

by clindzy



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Break Up, Conventions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together, Insecure Jensen, M/M, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 02:42:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11118210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clindzy/pseuds/clindzy
Summary: Life without Jared has proven to be an ugly, black void that Jensen can't fix on his own. So, when Rogue offers him a photoshoot with Jared and Misha to promote the new season, Jensen jumps at the opportunity.The only problem: Jared hasn't spoken to him since their last convention and Jensen has no idea how to cross that wall of silence. It will take a lot of begging, Misha playing matchmaker and Jensen coming to terms with what a life with Jared really means.





	Running Out of Time

**Author's Note:**

> Originally prompted by a Facebook group from the boys' Rogue photoshoot, the idea was that J2 had broken up and are struggling with the events that followed after. There is a happy ending, but as many of you know I live to write the angst and feels so expect no shortage here! 
> 
> This fic wouldn't be possible without the sweetest cheerleaders I have, Mari and Luce. Thank you for allowing me to bounce this idea around with you. Your encouragement keeps me inspired. 
> 
> I will add the music I listened to once I get it all in one place :P.
> 
> Enjoy <3.

To say Jensen is nervous about the photoshoot for their latest promotional spread would be an understatement. His heart is beating so hard it sounds like thunder in his ears. The collar of his dress shirt is tight and feels like it’s strangling the life out of him. Jensen knows Jared will be walking through the door any minute now, and he isn’t ready for it. It has been months since the break up, and one would think he’s had time to get over it, but that’s simply not the case. Jared was Jensen’s best friend first, before their relationship evolved into something more. Jared’s always been by his side, been a shoulder that he could lean on, and now that’s gone. 

 

Jensen wipes his hands on his tailored pants, trying in vain to calm himself as he hears the doors open and shut with a loud clink. He looks over his shoulder, trying to paste on a smile, but he’s caught off guard when he meets Jared’s eyes.  Jensen’s always had a weakness for them since he first met the younger man. Things may have ended months ago in Vancouver, but they weren’t over, not by a long shot. 

 

Jensen licks his lips nervously as the room seems to close in on him. He has no idea what to say to his former lover and current co-star. Honestly he doesn’t have an inkling where to start so he quickly averts his gaze to the floor, and inhales deeply. At this point, he doesn’t even know if there’s anything left to say. He had accused Jared of cheating after one too many overly friendly glances and touches to the overzealous fan that insisted upon hounding them for the duration of their stay in Rome. Jensen’s insecurities wouldn’t let him overlook it, made something out of nothing and he took it out on an undeserving Jared. Barely three months have passed since he had torn into Jared like he was a fresh T-Bone, but frankly, it feels like a lifetime and it some ways it has been. They had never went this long without speaking, let alone crowding into each other’s spaces like it was their job and God given right to do so. 

 

He doesn’t dare look up when he hears Jared’s footsteps walk in the direction of the makeup room. He knows he’s utterly screwed there’s no denying that fact. Thankfully, Misha walks in and with one look at the older man, Jensen knows he’s in for an interrogation.

“Jen,” Misha breathes out softly, keeping his voice down so others can’t hear. “It will be okay. I promise.” 

 

“I doubt that, Mish,” he answers before looking over his shoulder to see who all is in the room. Luck seems to be on his side because there’s only two others and they’re busy setting up for the photoshoot. 

 

“Look, all you have to do is get through this, and then maybe it’s time you actually talk to Jared.” 

 

“You weren’t there that night, Misha, you don’t know the things I said to him.” Jensen sighs, “There are things I can’t take back.” 

 

Misha gently grabs Jensen’s elbow and pulls him off to the side in a dark corner where two chairs are. They both sit down and Jensen leans into Misha’s touch as the man places a hand on his shoulder. “Jen, you know as well as I do you said those things in the heat of the moment. I know Jared understands that.” 

 

“Misha, you didn’t see his face. You didn’t see his heart break, I did,” Jensen argues. 

 

Misha nods his head, “Ah, but I’ve been there in the aftermath. For both of you, Jensen. I think it’s time we all go back to my room after, sit down, and talk. Jensen, this is killing you and Jared both.” 

 

Jensen knows Misha’s right and he knows he’s been selfish the past few months. He hadn’t thought about how this affected the older man; if he’s honest with himself, he has taken Misha for granted. Honestly, Jensen’s been lucky to have Misha. The man listened to one too many late night phone calls as Jensen poured out his heart. And throughout it all, Misha offered his ear, his shoulder, his unwavering support for Jensen without once getting critical or judgmental.  

 

Uttering the only words he can call to his mouth, Jensen whispers, “I’m so sorry, Mish. I’ve been a selfish dick to you, Jared, hell, the whole world.” Unable to stomach the flurry of emotions that are bound to be crossing his best friend’s face, Jensen drops his head between his knees, eyes blurring with tears as he tries to blink them back without much success.

 

Misha tightens his grip around Jensen’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “No, you were heartbroken and the pain had to come out somewhere. I get it, Jen.”

  
Jensen slowly raises his eyes to Misha’s, allowing him to see how fresh and raw his pain is. 

Gathering Jensen as close as he dares, Misha moves his hand to Jensen’s neck, kneading into the tense muscles.

Jensen positively melts into Misha’s touch, showing just how touch deprived he is. He’s refused to allow anyone close to him after that night in Vancouver in their shared apartment; it’s his punishment for scarring Jared so deeply.

“It’s going to be okay,” Misha soothes, rubbing the nape of Jensen’s neck in hopes that he can prevent a knot from forming and causing his best friend further pain.

“How?” Jensen is suspiciously close to breaking down, gulping against the lump in his throat. He swipes at his eyes roughly, flinging the moisture to his pants legs and the gray concrete below his feet.

Misha gently draws Jensen’s hands away from his face, clasping his hands over Jensen’s. “Because I know that you and Jared are going to work this out,” he answers firmly.

Jensen looks at Misha with desolation haunting his eyes and agony ghosting his mouth.

This Jensen is far removed from the version the public gets to see, only surfacing when he is suffering from unbearable pain. 

“Just trust me,” Misha pleads as Jensen withdraws from his grip.

Jensen shakes his head so hard that Misha swears he can hear vertebrae pop with each turn. 

Knowing Jensen as well as he does, Misha refuses to push. Instead, he allows Jensen the dignity of rising from his chair and sauntering back into the light of the room. Clearly, Jensen has adopted his Dean persona in hopes that he can survive this shoot.

Jensen feels guilty as hell the second he withdraws from Misha but it’s second nature, especially now; he doesn’t do vulnerable, not in the wandering eyes of the public or their loose lips.

He inhales and exhales raggedly as he forces the cloak of Dean around him, hoping foolishly that it might shield him from feeling anything. Jensen knows that it won’t stop Jared from reading him like the open book he is; not even an eternity apart could break the unspoken bond that they share.

Hand poised on the knob to the tiny makeup room, Jensen inhales deeply. He doesn’t think he’s ever faced something this difficult in his life before. Truth be told, he would rather be in Antarctica right now than having to face Jared and the chilly reception he’s anticipating. Letting out the breath he’s holding, Jensen turns the knob and enters the makeup room.

It’s just as tense as he thought it would be - maybe even more so if that’s possible.

He waves awkwardly at the makeup tech before his gaze darts to Jared. Jensen can’t ignore the sorrow carved into Jared’s face. No amount of makeup can hide the pain he’s in and it’s all Jensen’s fault.

Still at a loss for words, Jensen drops into the chair next to Jared, staring at his own sunken face in the mirror and grimacing.

Oblivious to the tension, the makeup tech speaks. “So, how long have you two known each other?”

And in true Winchester fashion, Jensen and Jared both shoot her a bitch face in unison.

Jensen appreciates the woman’s effort, he really does, but talking to a stranger about Jared is the  _ absolute _ last thing he wants to do.

Muttering to herself, the tech busies her hands again with smoothing Jared’s makeup and touching up his hair. “You’re all set, Mr. Padalecki.”

Jared grunts in acknowledgment and unfolds himself from the uncomfortable chair.

Jensen works his mouth open noisily but quickly slams it shut. How in the hell had it gotten this bad that he couldn’t even make small talk to Jared?

Jared pauses for a moment, probably waiting to see if Jensen is still capable of speech. After a few awkward seconds, he continues walking towards the door.

Mentally kicking himself, Jensen grits his teeth. He can only hope that the blonde makeup tech doesn’t try to engage him in conversation again. He can’t guarantee what might come out if she does.

Ten slow moving minutes later, Jensen is finished with the now completely silent makeup tech and takes a look in the mirror before rising from his seat.

“Good luck, Mr. Ackles,” the tech says politely.

Jensen only nods in response, fingers clenched around the doorknob. He would need all the luck he could get.

As he reenters the main room of the studio, Jensen sees Misha standing next to Jared but immediately notices how far apart they are standing; it’s not only Jared he hurt with his out of control ego. He would do anything to fix this void between them, to take Misha out of the middle of this ugliness that has oozed out into their lives.

Jensen forces himself to cross the room, the clench of Jared’s jaw obvious to him from where he stands now.  _ Here goes nothing _ , he thinks to himself, plastering a neutral expression on his face.

Misha eyes him closely, concern written fresh all over his face, raising his eyebrow at Jensen’s obvious facade. “Took you long enough, jeez. You’d think that your whole face needs to be resurfaced,” he jokes, hoping to lighten the mood between his two best friends and co-stars. 

“And just how long did it take them to make you look even remotely presentable?” Jensen replies dryly. The smirk that’s creeping up on Jared’s lips doesn’t go unnoticed, nor does Jared biting his lip in hopes of concealing it.

Misha offers Jensen and Jared his trademark sardonic twist of his lips before turning his head in the direction that he hears his voice being called.

The photographer’s assistant, a short brunette that bears a strong resemblance to Genevieve, is becoming increasingly irritated at being ignored by these hotshot celebrities that she’s forced to watch over instead of shooting her own spread of them. She raises her voice and shrills, “Mr. Collins, I need you over here now!”

Jensen winces at the young woman’s harsh tone. “Better go, Mish, before she comes over here. She looks scary and I don’t want to see what she might be capable of. Besides, you know Jared and I will put you to shame once we step into the shot.” He offers a brilliant smirk to Misha, green eyes twinkling in amusement, momentarily forgetting the awkward, black haze that hangs around he and Jared. 

But that blackness creeps back in once Misha leaves, throwing Jensen back into the swirling void of uncertainty and a raw, aching pain in his chest that no amount of booze or one night stands can fix.

Jensen notices how tightly Jared folds his arms across his chest, clearly telling him how unhappy he is to be here, to be close to Jensen. He takes a deep breath and prays to whatever higher power may be listening -  _ please let me fix this. Jared is everything to me; life without him doesn’t make sense...just please give me another chance,  _ he begs.

He studies Jared’s body, noticing just how much weight he has lost and the lackluster appearance of his hair, even with the makeup tech doing her magic on it. Jensen bites his lip in frustration. If only he could get the words, any words, to come out of his mouth.

Jared meets Jensen’s eyes, his gold hazel eyes harsh with anger and pain. “Something I can help you with, Jensen?”

Jensen cringes.  _ But, hey, at least Jared is speaking to him, _ he thinks.

Swallowing hard and long, Jensen murmurs in a low voice, “I’m sorry, Jared.”

Before Jared can respond or move his way, Jensen hears their names being called.

This is going to be one long photoshoot, Jensen can feel it in his bones.


End file.
